Legacy of the Mallu Lungi

Hi all,

As usual I know its been a while.. Loads and loads of stuff happening, but then nothing much to pen about. Coz of the various things happening in life..my interest in blogging also seems to look like the recession…and hence the limited posts…but then if there is one thing that I like doing…then its this..so will have to try and bring up those interests again…and till then, I will end up putting stuff that I read here and there…and this is one such wonderful read that a colleague in office has sent, and hence it has to go up here. Enjoy the read.

AJ


'Lungi'. Pronounced as 'Lu' as in loo and 'ngi ' as in 'mongey', a lungi can be identified by its floral or window-curtain pattern. 'Mundu' is the white variation of lungi and is worn on special occasions like hartal or bandh days, weddings and Onam.

Lungi is simple and 'down to earth' like the mallu wearing it. Lungi is the beginning and the end of evolution in its category. Wearing something on the top half of your body is optional when you are wearing a lungi. Lungi is a strategic dress. It's like a one-size-fits- all bottoms for Keralites.

The technique of wearing a lungi/mundu is passed on from generation to generation through word of mouth like the British Constitution. If you think it is an easy task wearing it, just try it once! It requires techniques like breath control and yoga that is a notch higher than sudarshan kriya of AOL. A lungi/mundu when perfectly worn won't come off even in a quake of 8 on the Richter scale. A lungi is not attached to the waist using duct tape, staple, rope or Velcro. It's a bit of mallu magic whose formula is a closely guarded secret like the Coca Cola chemicals.

A lungi can be worn 'Full Mast' or 'Half Mast' like a national flag. A 'Full Mast' lungi is when you are showing respect to an elderly or the dead. Wearing it at full mast has lots of disadvantages. A major disadvantage is when a dog runs after you. When you are wearing a lungi/mundu at full mast, the advantage is mainly for the female onlookers who are spared the ordeal of swooning at the sight of hairy legs.

Wearing a lungi 'Half Mast' is when you wear it exposing yourself like those C grade movie starlets. A mallu can play cricket, football or simbly run when the lungi is worn at half mast. A mallu can even climb a coconut tree wearing lungi in half mast. "It's not good manners, especially for ladies from decent families, to look up at a mallu climbing a coconut tree"- Confucius (or is it Abdul Kalam?)

Most mallus do the traditional dance kudiyattam. Kudi means drinking alcohol and yattam, spelled as aattam, means random movement of the male body. Note that 'y' is silent. When you are drinking, you drink, there is no 'y'. Any alcohol related "festival" can be enjoyed to the maximum when you are topless with lungi and a towel tied around the head. "Half mast lungi makes it easy to dance and shake legs" says Candelaria Amaranto, a Salsa teacher from Spain after watching 'kudiyaattam' .

The 'Lungi Wearing Mallu Union' [LUWMU, pronounced LOVE MU], an NGO which works towards the 'upliftment' of the lungi, strongly disapprove of the GenNext tendency of wearing Burmuda under the lungi. Burmuda under the lungi is a conspiracy by the CIA. It's a disgrace to see a person wearing burmuda with corporate logos under his lungi. What they don't know is how much these corporates are limiting their freedom of movement and expression.

A mallu wears lungi round the year, all weather, all season. A mallu celebrates winter by wearing a colourful lungi with a floral pattern. Lungi provides good ventilation and brings down the heat between legs. A mallu is scared of global warming more than anyone else in the world.

A lungi/mundu can be worn any time of the day/night. It doubles as blanket at night. It also doubles up as a swing, swimwear, sleeping bag, parachute, facemask while entering/exiting toddy shops, shopping basket and water filter while fishing in ponds and rivers. It also has recreational uses like in 'Lungi/mundu pulling', a pastime in households having more than one male member. Lungi pulling competitions are held outside toddyshops all over Kerala during Onam and Vishu. When these lungis are decommissioned from service, they become table cloths. Thus the humble lungi is a cradle to grave appendage. 

Smile = Rs 46??

Smile = Rs 46…! Now what the hell could that mean…is that a code name for a CIA operative, or is that password for my netbanking accounts :). Actually its nothing of that sort, for that matter its exactly what it reads…a smile is worth just Rs 46. Now if a smile was that cheap, shouldn't we all be having a smiling face rather than sitting and sulking the whole time. Shit…actually imagine if MSN, Gtalk and other IM clients started charging Rs 46 for a smile, how much money would they actually make, considering we netizens, just keep putting smileys on chats without any rhyme or reason. When someone makes us laugh, we have a smile, when we have nothing to say we put a smiley…and the list is endless.

As a kid, when we used to go grocery shopping with my family, I used to pick up something which would always have something tagged along with it, buy 1 get 1 free types…not just when I was small…I still actually do :) …and my Dad used to keep telling me that there are no free lunches in the world..and it kinda was proved to me couple of days back that there are no free lunches, and for that matter there are no free smiles also.

Couple of days ago, I happened to pass via Bengaluru and couple of friends were like, lets head to Koshy's (Parade Café) for breakfast. I have been to this place earlier, and it definitely is one of the oldest landmarks in the city and no two doubts about the fact that they serve some amazing continental breakfast. Yes it does have an uncanny resemblance to Indian Coffee House, but I guess that's due to a legacy they wish to continue. While we just kept waiting there for the rest of the group to join, who btw took so blady long to come, I ended up going thru the menu some hazaar times, and my eyes fell on this particular dish, aptly titled SMILE…worth Rs 46.

I kept wondering why such a thing appears on the menu. In the middle of all this thinking I had my mutton keema toast, sausages, bacon etc etc., Still kept wondering why SMILE…Like they say a man cannot really think when he's hungry…so finally when I was down with all my sausages and bacon, was I able to solve the mystery of the smile. After some deep thoughts I was able to conclude that you actually need to pay Rs 46 to get the bearers to smile…these guys just don't smile. Their natures are absolutely humble, they are friendly, they thank you when you leave…but you just don't see them smiling.

WOW..talk about selling ones product. Perfect law of economics – You only get what you pay for!! You are right Dad there are no free lunches in this world…or for that matter even smiles :) sheesh…if we had to pay for smileys then MS would have already debited my account with Rs 138 :( for my few lines of bak bak above!!

Am I with the right partner?

I have been promising to come here every now and then I know…but its jus been so busy with some 100 other things…and I promise it will be alive once again soon. But for now, I am just putting up a read that I received from someone…and it made so much sense that I felt it needs to be put up here.

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?" The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author. Here's the answer.

 

Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their peculiarity. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?"

 

And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

 

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy.

And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.

There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

 

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!!