Pyaar duniya ki sabse badi dard hoti hai…!!

I have been thinking of writing this particular post for the past 2 months now…but never been able to set myself to the task. Sometimes its just work that keeps me busy, sometimes its my thoughts of someone, sometimes its my irritation and when its none of these, I just don't have the mood to write it. And since I have promised this particular post to many, I think I would take time off and write it. I dunno how this post would be taken by some, but then hey u can never satisfy the whole world. Before you read any further, tell me make it clear that this is another post about me and hence boredom wud strike you at various levels…so quit then and there and don't blame me for wasting ur valuable time.

Earlier today, I was reading an article that mentioned something about how majority of people in the UK wanted to have a relationship with some celebrity and then wanted to have a kiss n tell publication in their name in some tabloid and make good amount of money for it. Well this is one such kiss and tell post…but unfortunately theres noone to pay me for this. Well probably kiss n tell wud make it sound derogatory, its actually not…its jus some thoughts that I would wanna pen it down. I might get some of you sending me stinkers for this post, but then here goes. Firstly I will not take any names in this post, I guess that much confidentiality I should maintain. Secondly any resemblances that you may find here, are purely intentional J

Act 1 – 1991 – 1994
Like I wrote in my last post, my entire childhood was spent in the Gulf, to be precise Bahrain. And luckily I was in a co-ed school, but during those years, I was not the Ajit that you people would know now. I was more of the quiet shy types…I wudnt say I was afraid to talk to girls, but then somewhere the whole reserved thing was there. Now I have no clue how I got stuck up like that. Totally totally opposite of what I am currently. Anywayz there was this girl in my class in 6^th standard…it took a while for us to become friends, but then once we did become, we were kinda inseparable for a while. I mean the teachers used to shift our places, and somehow we wud still do something and end up sitting together. Like people/movies say…ek ladka-ek ladki kabhi dost nahi reh sakte…now I dunno if that's true or false, but atleast at that point of time I thought it was true. Somewhere along the way I started to like her…yes people would push it off as puppy luv…but then puppy luv ya chicken luv…kuch toh ho raha tha, but I just didn't have the guts to tell her this. I dunno if I had made it so evident, but then everyone around me (except her) knew that I had this super big crush on her…Now this carried on for like 3yrs…6^th to 8^th…and the chicken that I was at that point of time, jus cudnt jus walk up to her and tell her that I like u…it was jus so damn difficult for me. And then for some crappy reason..we never spoke to each other from 9^th to 12^th standard. We used to see each other in school, smile at each other…but we never spoke. And then too the chicken in me just couldn't muster courage to speak to her. Somewhere during the preparation for the 10^th and 12^th board exams, I started to eat a lot of Kelloggs and so during 12^th…the chicken decided to migrate into a more mightier thing and decided that last day of school…I wud track her down and tell her the simple fact that once upon a time I had a crush for u. And for my luck…on the last day of the board exams, I just cudnt find her in school. L I mean looking back at things, I just cant imagine that I had a crush on someone for 3 whole years and I just cudnt tell them (And the worst part in the whole thing was me and her were so good friends, that she would have always taken things in the right spirit even if she didn't like it)…and now I don't think it wud take me 3 hrs to tell someone something…whether I like them or not. I guess in addition to eating a lot of Kelloggs and gaining solid weight, I also gained certain important realizations in life.

This was prolly the only worthwhile thing in school worth talking about…other than that there was this one particular faculty tat I liked (ok lets not get there now)…there were other girls also in school who did interest me, but then nothing too much in particular to write abt…among all this there was jus this one learning and that was if u like someone who is ur friend…tell them…u have nothing to lose…if they are gonna be so stuck up and take things otherwise and decide that u don't talk to each other again…then its prolly not worth knowing them also…

Act 2 – 1998
Passed out from school…the board exams went pretty okay. Had a choice to do my graduation in the US or India…it was a conscious decision that graduation would be done in India itself. So from the time of the last day of the exam and the results coming out and moving over to India…there was a good long 3 months time. One of the most boring periods of time that I went thru…and at the time totally got addicted to internet. And had a free connection at home, so the whole day would practically be spent online. Those were the times where there were no social networking sites, or atleast I hadn't heard of them then. And so as part of time pass online, I was searching on some Indian community of Indians based in the Gulf…no clue as to what I was doing on the site. So there was this particular name that struck me, maybe it was her surname that just struck me. I kinda found it real peculiar, so I ended up mailing her. And a couple of hours later voila I get her reply..She too had just finished her 10^th…and was pretty jobless jus like me. We started talking…kind of got along really well. Prolly started out nothing more than a friendship….for some reason…me and my family travelled to her country in the next month…again for some reason we didn't even consider meeting up. Spoke on the phone couple of times…and somewhere along the way…she tells me one day that this is prolly heading in some other direction. My results came…screwed up a few subjects. I got to India, joined Loyola College here in Chennai for my BCom. We kept in touch and then she happened to come to India for her summer hols…and by then we were already abt 10 months into our relationship and we stl hadn't met…typical Hindi movie story huh…!! (Obviously we had seen each other in pictures) Anywayz she came to Mumbai for her summer hols, and me here convinced couple of classmates of mine to bunk college and do a trip to Mumbai…ohhh man that was so much fun…bunking, taking a long train journey to Mumbai, getting caught by eunichs and mostly filled with the excitement of meeting her for the first time. Ok now I don't rem our first meeting…but as far as I can remember, I know it was somewhere in Dadar…or was it CO's at Parel…one of them. It was prolly the first time that I was doing a trip of my own, and that too had its own excitement…we met…each returned to our respective locations…again another 6 months of being in touch of phones…oh blady hell and those times, the freaking ISD rates used to hit the roof…!! I still remember we used to write letters to each other (yes yes…I aint dumb…emails were there…but there was something more personal in writing letters) and the letters used to weigh like atleast half a kilo each…there used to be times where I jus used to wait for the postman…and once my Mom happened to get hold of one of the letters from the postman…and she was like…what in the world is this?? Then I happened to return to Bahrain for my summer hols…and I convinced my folks to make me to her country…ok one thing that I haven't mentioned it…I have always told my folks of my relationships…they hv never like shown me the cane or anything, and so I have never felt the need of keeping it away from them. Anywayz went to her city..met up…we went on for a while…and one fine day…abt 23 months into the relationship…somewhere we kinda both fell out of it. She initiated it…but for some reason I knew it was coming, and hence I wasn't like in a bad state or anything when it actually happened…got over it real qwik…had a neighbour of mine…and we were great friends, and the fact that she was there, is prolly why I was able to get over it real soon.

Every act of mine has had some learning…and this one too did. Maybe it was jus that feeling of being in love, is why we got into it in the first place…but a long distance relationship isn't easy…there are so many long distance relationships that I see around, that work so perfectly but then if both don't put in that extra effort, it aint gonna go anywhere…

Act 3 – 2000
This one I dunno if it can be defined as a relationship…it can be why not. The whole boyfriend-girlfriend concept is not one that can define a relationship. Me and S…I dunno what we were. We were jus very close. Very…although the year mentions 2000…I wud say prolly the seeds for this were sown a year back…I had gone for this conference called the Model United Nations Assembly in Bahrain, and I was heading the press coverage for this event. There was this very pretty girl in my team. She was wearing a hijab and I thought she was Arab. So I was like telling this friend of mine…"bhai woh bandhi mast dikhti hai" (S was pretty close to me when I said this)…and it just went on…the next day, S walks up to me and was talking something about the press coverage…and at the end…she looked at me and was like "aapko kya lagta hai, Pakistani ladkiyaan don't knw Hindi"…I was dumbstruck for a minute…shes like "its ok…dnt seem surprised…waise bhi kal ke comment ke liye thank u"… Circa 2000…I went back to Bahrain for my next summer hols…and we met up…and we knew that things were happening btwn us. And at the same time was when the movie Refugee (Abhisheks first movie) released…and I was like freak I cant walk across the border to claim this love….hhahaha…like I said both me and her knew it would never work btwn us…this Act prolly doesn't need a mention here, but then I felt it shud have been there…

Act 4 – 2004
4 year gap…btwn last one and this. Well I was in a boys only college for graduation…so what do u expect…!! Anywayz this Act really needn't be here, but I wanna write abt it. That's because there is so much of ill feeling abt this one. Anywayz time for another internet one…now u people prolly wondering whether - did I learn anything from my previous one or not…well this particular one was never intended to take a serious direction…but somewhere it became too serious that things jus went haywire. She was a junior of mine from school…I don't think I ever interacted with her in school…but then we interacted a lot after that. I don't wanna get to the interactions and all…she was staying in another part of the world altogether. She told me she was in love with me…I told her that I was in love with her…Iooking back I don't even knw whether we were in love at all. It seems more like a relationship of convenience that anything else. At some point of time she decided to come down to India to continue her studies here…by then she was supposedly seeing someone else…we were friends…same city…so kept meeting often. But somewhere along the well things got sour…because supposedly I had started spreading rumours abt her. And that too I feel ashamed to write here some of these rumours…I mean I knew bigger secrets abt her…which if I wanted I cud tell the whole world…why wud I spread false rumours when I could spread truths…this is a point which she failed to see then…and still continues to fail to see. Tried to make her see reality, but then now I realize its jus not even worth it…If the person who I am referring to here, happens to read this..trust me on each word I have written here, including my last line.


Act 5 – 2005
Looking back at all that I have written, I really dont think any of the above can even be called as relationships in the true sense of the word. Obviously each of them were in a factual way, but in the true sense...really none...but this one in 2005 - well this is the most enriching relationship I have been in so far. But unfortunately I cant write about it. Happened during my MBA…there were ups and downs. But this was one, which I thought and prolly wanted to see the end of the day. But then wen everything is fine, always some unwanted factors will have to crop up in btwn…and this time it happened to be religion. Everything was perfect…except religion. I don't want to write more abt this, but breaking up in the name of religion was something that was totally unacceptable to me…esp in this 21^st century. I have moved out of this…but sometimes one does wonder why does religion have to play a part in most relationships?? I know many of you would know abt this one…and the reasons why I cant or don't wanna write more on this…

My take from this…and no I am not asking this to anyone in particular…it's a general statement, to which I don't knw an answer. Many of my colleagues and friends have same issues in their relationship…I mean at the end of the day are u marrying the person or their religion. In this modern age, no one is going to tell the other to convert and blah blah..One of my favourite lines "we Indians have even reached outerspace, but stl some of us are stuck at religions"

I know this was prolly an extremely boring and long post…and very frankly somewhere half way thru the post, I lost interest in writing it also. But then since I had started it, I wanted to end it…which is prolly why certain people who know my writing can see the indifference in the tone. Well there are some people who I have purposely skipped in course of this blog…they don't deserve a mention…but there are some people who really matter to me, and for them I dedicate my next post (yes yes I am starting to write tat in the next 5 mins) coz they truly deserve not to be lost in this long post…!!